Archive for anime

Don’t Watch Shitty Movies Just Because They Are Shitty

Posted in Art, Film, New Movies, Pop-culture with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on 20 September, 2009 by endlessslug

This Friday, I was getting ready to engage in one of my favorite pastimes/sports/recreational activities, fencing.  I was sitting at the local university’s recreation center pleasantly directing our new fencers to the place where they shall be trained.   A small group of obvious geeks were leaving the tennis court area and discussing the evening’s movie plans.  One nerd suggested, “I know, Episode I! <pause for social props/reactions from friends/peers>  Or, maybe Battlefield Earth!”  I was at once shocked and horrified.  I thought briefly that these dorks were planning to watch something they felt was good science fiction, but realized quickly that their goal was to watch terrible sci-fi.

Now, this blog entry is not about establishing a criticism of film, science-fiction, or whatever, but to gently remind my dear readers that we ought not to waste our precious time watching shit.  Although it might be funny or socially responsible of us to hold public conversations about the absolute devastation of humanity that are movies such as Episode I, Transformers, Wolverine, and the new Star Trek train-wreck, but we should not actually spend any of our capital, monetarily, psychologically, or culturally in viewing them.  Recently, I was watching an episode of Attack of the Show on G4.  Devin Faraci of was reviewing DVD’s in lieu of Chris Gore’s usual reviews in the DVDoucheday, excuse me, DVDuesday segment of the show.  I have really grown to enjoy and respect Faraci’s reviews over the past few months – huzzah!  But at one point during his review of Wolverine, he suggested that this would be a movie he might one day watch with some friends and a lot of beer and laugh at due to the complete ridiculousness of it.  I was a bit surprised at such a comment and can’t help but think he was contractually required to say something nice about it.  Seriously, this is not even a cult-bad style of film, but just outright a travesty of humanity.  And therein is my point – don’t waste your time or give the machine of entertainment media capitalism your money.  It’s just nuts.  When you give them money, they’ll just make more.  I’d much rather watch less of awesome than more of shit any day.

So, nerds, I speak to you:  Waste not yourselves on pseudo-cult “new classics” which are not classics but crap.  Waste not your time on anything anime.  Read some old books written before 1970; the pre-post-modern era.  Watch episodes 4-6 again, over and over.  Re-visit old film literature because as with all literature, the film will grow with you.  I recently had a small discussion with a friend of mine obsessed with the new Transformers franchise.  She had never seen the Star Wars trilogy.   I stopped right there and said, “Star Wars will become a better movie the older you get.  Transformers, if you like it now for some god-forsaken reason, ok, but it will get worse and really stupid as you age resulting in you wondering what sort of an idiot you were in ever caring about it.  It’s not that the movies themselves are any different, but with the accumulation of life experience that you will have, you will understand with more depth of knowing, the experiences of the characters and the story and thus will achieve more from viewing Star Wars over time.  It enriches you.  Transformers damages you by giving you unrealistic experiences which have no impact or meaning to anyone’s experience and is really very two-sided and shallow.”

And remember artists, the public/viewer cares nothing about you.  Don’t masturbate at them when you could instead offer a diachronic dialog.