Archive for April, 2010

Busy Bees and “Art Students, Please!”

Posted in Art, Artists, Studio Work, Technique with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on 14 April, 2010 by endlessslug

Hi all, the Slug has been pretty busy as of late running some business-end things and working on some new projects so I haven’t been able to write as much as I had intended.  I have a few saved posts ready for rainy days but I don’t believe the time is quite right…

With that said, I’ll leave this post short but I will add a sort of teaser of things to come:

Top 10 Things Art Students Should ALWAYS Refrain (that mean’s “do not do this” kiddies) From Painting:

1 – Aliens.  No one cares man.

2 – Pot leaves.  It’s just advertising.

3 – Any other drug references.  If it’s a cry for help, go elsewhere.  If not, stop using and experience the world a bit and see if you still want to paint this.

4 – Crosses, thorn-crowns, crucifixions.  Do you work for your church?  Even great historical painters ALL hated painting this stuff.

5 – Black female jesus.  This isn’t profound, it’s stupid.  Why not paint actual religious females with your g/f’s image in them? Oh wait, there aren’t any. What?

6 – Girlfriends.  Note, I do not say boyfriends – why? cause who paints that?

7 – Erotic art.  Why? because for students, it’s just porn and nobody ever tells them otherwise.  Skills first people.

8 – Famous people.  We’ve seen it. Stop.

9 – Animal portraits.  Seriously get the fuck out of the house.

10 – Your friend’s band promo.  [facial expression of ‘geh?’]

We’ll add an addendum list…

Top 10 Ways in which Art Students Should Stop Working (e.g., the technique guide):

1 – Never bring anime into an art studio.  We’ll kill you.

2 – Stop using ‘graphitti’.  To artists this translates to: “ignorant fuck who thinks themselves better than 40000 years of art history.” Cave paintings are better than gra-shitty art any day.

3 – Cray-pas.  What, are you 7?

4 – Painting with ‘non-traditional’ tools such as leaves, stems, twigs…  it’s all about the process right? No.  It really isn’t.  How unnatural is a sable brush?

5 – Stop sticking things to canvases.  It really looks like shit.

6 – Stop sewing into canvas.  Make a quilt, don’t paint.

7 – Don’t use hemp canvas.  Hemp is useless for anything, don’t believe the hype, listen to your painter ancestors who have tried it numerous times with no useful results.

8 – Don’t let your canvas peek through your paint for that ‘painted’ look.  It’s a painting, ass.

9 – Quit “expressing” all over the place.  I certainly don’t want to clean that up.

10 – Quit using perishables.  Potatoes strung up over a piano?  Dude, “Fuck” and “Off”.

-Endless Slug